Why Maya Angelou Believed in Anger
“I believe in anger. Anger’s like fire, it can burn out all the dross and leave some positive things.” Maya Angelou
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The Danger of Frustration and Anger:
Anger causes you to think poorly of others. People feel threatening. Teams are seen with a negative lens. You can’t build a positive team when you’re persistently angry. Researchers call it “negative interpretation bias.”
Frustration reaches for control. When you believe you can control things, you take unnecessary risks. For example, an angry person tries to control people. (How Anger Impacts Judgement)
Untended frustration oversimplifies. Everything is either/or. You make snap judgements when you’re angry.
Frustration and Anger are Useful When:
I love talking to angry leaders. Sometimes I throw gas on their fire. Conversations shift when I ask, “What do you want to do about that?” They often respond with things they want others to do, or they complain they can’t do anything about it. Feeling helpless increases frustration.
Anger is useful when you reflect on things you care about. It might be the right to be respected. It could be your need to succeed.
Frustration helps when it motivates positive action. Shift from “don’t want” to “do want” and choose actions likely to get you there. Stop trying to control others.
Anger is energy – use it to fuel constructive action, not destructive reactions.
Frustration is a recurring aspect of leadership. Use it to inform, clarify, and motivate positive change. When you’re angry…
- Think about long-term results more than immediate frustrations.
- Talk it over with a trusted friend outside your organization.
- Take a slow walk.
- Ask, “What’s important here?”
- Practice gratitude.
Which suggestion in this post seems most useful to you?
Still curious:
Leadership Derailers: Anger
How to Use Anger to Make You a Better Leader
How to Maximize the Value of Anger
