How to Eliminate Self-Defeating Negativity
Patterns make or break you, not single moments. Success is a series of decisions and behaviors that move you toward desired goals.
Wise habits create the life you want.
Sadness is easy. Happiness is about patterns. You don’t choose self-defeating negativity; apart from intervention it finds you.
Sources of Self-Defeating Negativity:
- Fear of failure.
- Fatigue.
- Chronic stress.
- Negative comparison with others.
- Isolation.
- Uncertainty.
- Helplessness / Lack of control.
- Perfectionism.
- Unmet expectations.
- Negative friends.
Eliminate Self-Defeating Negativity with Future-Building Choices:
The present depends on the future. We think about the future about three times more than the past (Homo Prospectus). Anticipated emotions have greater impact on decisions than current emotions.
When making short-term choices think, “How will I feel at the end of the day if I choose this path?” Ask, “How will I feel a year from now if I choose this path?”
Seek the voice of experience. Ask someone what they did when they faced a decision similar to yours. Ask them how they felt after they made the decision. Follow up with, “How do you feel today?”
When the future seems positive you feel good in the present. When worry consumes you the present defeats you.
Choose what you want. Written goals provide direction.
- How do you want to contribute today? Think like a minion, not a god. The habit of small contributions is superior to waiting for dramatic moments.
- What do you want for yourself? Make progress. Learn something every day. Love people and enjoy simple things.
- How do you want people to feel around you? Think in four dimensions. How would you like people to feel about themselves, their environment, others, and the future?
Schedule actions that create energy-building habits. Stephen Guise suggests doing things “too small to fail,” in his book, Mini Habits.
How does self-defeating negativity seep into your life? What suggestions do you have for defeating it?
Still curious? Read, 5 Questions to Positive Energy.
